lol oops im drunk
Daughters Of The Soho Riots soo-ooh perfect.
Elliot Smith Last Call
so you cast your shadow everywhere like the man in the moon.
(when he say’s ‘it must be some kind of holiday’ ugh oh lord.)
he was listening to Comfortably Numb earlier and i hardly ever hear sounds from there, let alone music. he usually plays television.
he has someone over. therefore he is socializing. smoking weed is often a social thing and considering that it is winter break the likelihood of the two doing drugs together is much higher than it would be during the semester, when they would have, arguably, less free time because of school work. even more specific to the timing, it is still exam period, meaning they could have just finished exams and are celebrating or chilling out after a test or hours of studying.
i really don’t think he smokes cigarettes. the only time i’ve ever seen him outside was when he was with a friend, once in the whole time that i’ve lived here. i was on my way out and he and his friend left his apartment just before i did so being within feet of each other, separated by a hollow wall, i heard one say “do you have a lighter?”
when i came back like ten minutes later i saw them coming around front from the alley. if either of them did smoke cigarettes, why would they be in the crack alley? hmmm. maybe smoking something different than cigarettes.
and then i was sitting here and i could hear them talking. i couldn’t make out full sentences, but i did recognize words when they were particularly loud or hard sounding or both, like fuck for instance. he then raised his voice significantly and when on about jesus and transcendence of souls and just all this religious and spiritual hullaballoo.
he also has a cat who he greets when he enters his apartment. i do that too…soo….
i probably seem pretty creepy but when you live this close to people, you can’t help but see into their lives, at least a little.
now i’m listening to Elliot Smith, mostly, and i can’t much more than a mumble from the other side of the wall.
i agreed to go to another show right after The Flatliners tomorrow night.
what i didn’t know is that apparently who i am seeing, Infected Mushroom, is an electronic music band or group or whatever you call it. well now, as it goes, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, and apparently, a band by it’s name. i honestly thought Infected Mushroom was some sort of alternative punk or metal band.
holy fuck the only thing that would be of more distinguishable contrast was if i was going to a fucking Barney and Friend’s concert first.
anyways, i think that i am going to a rave…………………………………….
dear lord. save my soul. let me live.
i’m too proud to admit i ever loved you or was going to love you because we never saw it through. i could have tried harder to keep you around, but all i did was frown.
and frowning does nothing but exercise your face muscles.
London at 6am.
Fuck going to work.
today when I was in City Lights I was flipping through some books and I found one about existentialist philosophy and for some reason was compelled to open it and inside I found this yellowed newspaper cartoon of this happy looking bear or some large animal, I can’t remember which. and in the picture he was saying, “everything will be all right.”
well, I thought it was really funny and laughed aloud to myself before placing the note back inside.
this is what happens when i go Christmas shopping for my mother
looking at lotions and pulp fiction romances gives me an anxiety that can only be cured by purchasing my own books. (or that is how i rationalize my spending)
i’m not into King much though.
but, sacrifices must be made in the name of academia.
i don’t think we’re every really supposed to know who we are because we’re always changing yanno? our skin falls. our skin grows. our brain takes. or brain gives. our bodies touch and retreat. your soul has moved three feet away from where it was yesterday.
and that’s okay. hearts are beating either way.